Marathon countdown looms

Just over three weeks to go to D-Day for the Connemara marathon and all of a sudden, I'm beginning to doubt I can do it. This follows on from what I can only describe as a horrendous ordeal over last weekend when I went off to do my long run - the longest ever - of three hours - and struggled desperately throughout;.
I wasn't in top form to begin with. Dodgy tummy and just not totally psyched to be out running flippin miles and miles on a day that varied weatherwise between extreme winter and a taste of summer. Mostly, it was cold enough for my hands to feel numb pretty much the whole way through. I never wear gloves because I always find I heat up eventually and then need to either carry them with me or discard and never find again. Generally, I try to travel as light-weight as possible in an effort to make it as easy as possible on myself.
I did bring a kidsize bottle of water with me and two gel packs and couldn't have survived without them. It's a pain carrying water but it has to be done until you need to use it up and then it's great to offload even that little weight. Usually I can go for an hour without needing a drink - even though I know you're supposed to drink at least every forty minutes. I prefer to just wait the hour and down as much as I can then. It seems to work for me.
One good thing was my new runners. I invested in another pair - the same as before - Asics gel - and the extra cushioning is great. I wanted to have them well broken in for the marathon and they should be just fine now when the big day rolls around in April. But even new shoes couldn't take away from the pain of my three-hour session, which was so long it took me round the routes of at least five of my typical runs.
Bad enough that I was a bit off form, but after just the first hour, it started getting really difficult. It was all mind over matter from there on in, but even mental gymnastics couldn't disguise some freezing cold rain cum hail showers that hit every now and then. There was no point in getting soaked through too early and then having to run for ages still. Whatever happens at this stage, I don't want to get sick. So I had no choice but to shelter at the side of the road, in a few barren ditches on at least three occasions and the only way to describe my predicament then - as I'm sure the many motorists who splodged puddles up on to me as they passed would agree - was miserable.
So at the end of hour one I was strangely weak all over and needing sustenance. I downed the two gels I brought with me for the duration and the water as well - all in one go! That meant I had nothing left to call on for the remaining two hours. Not good at all.
So plod, plod, plod anyway with the mind going haywire about everything. I couldn't figure why the heck there were so many guys in souped-up cars passing me by on what were typically quiet roads either. Turned out I was running the route of a rally the next day, which the boyos were sizing up for turns and speed.
I managed to keep going anyway and was glad that my legs weren't the problem, just everything else. After 2 hours 30 the wheezing began. It usually happens after two hours I've noticed and is something I have to work on. Then I definitely hit my wall. Everything just felt empty. There was nothing left. The legs got shaky, I felt dizzy, the body just felt like a sheet blowing in the wind. Horrible. The only good thing was that I knew exactly where I was and the road I had left to travel. There was no point in stopping. I'd still have to walk to get back.
I made it in almost three hours exactly - and discovered the next day I'd covered 30 kilometers in that time - around 19 miles. No wonder the bloody wall kicked in. That was mega mileage for me. My highest yet - and definitely felt like enough preparation for a marathon. As it happens, I have to run 3 hours 20 for my peak training weak and longest pre-marathon run this weekend. I think I'll just try to do the same route and if I've anything left in the tank, add on the extra 20 minutes. But if I can only do the same three hour route - well, that's still three flipping hours of non-stop running, which is incredible for me.
I seemed to recover from the session pretty well anyway. There was some deep pain in my hip and thighs just from the sheer relentless running, but it went away and I was able to do a recovery 10 minutes the next day and a speed session two days later. Now four days later, I'm just back from a six miler and feel really good again. I'm even looking forward to my 200 minutes of hell at the weekend!
It's all given me some confidence anyway that I will be able to do around 20 miles in the marathon, running, I hope. I know I'll probably hit the wall seriously then. If I can make good enough time that I have to walk the rest of the way, so be it.
Toodlepip for now

Joan
X